This is an edit. This is a hidden page.

Before we start with the screenshots, let’s clear up a few things.  I like you.  I am always having to apologize to you.  If you were attentive to what I say I wouldn’t have to.  I understand why SZ refers to himself as a novelty, both you and I have treated him like he is one, I have stopped and I hope you will do the same, because it hurts him.  Understand something, I’ve been in your shoes, it wasn’t until I stopped listening to people that reinforced my fears, that were just manipulating me, that I was able to face them and stop playing attention games at other peoples’ emotional expense.  If I didn’t truly care about you I wouldn’t address this at all.  When you said, “I think I love him”, I knew why he’s been so distant and why he thinks of himself as a novelty.  I don’t think you are the kind of person that would willingly string someone along, but your fears would, which suggests you do love him and it scares you.  I did the same thing you are doing after I met him, and I almost lost him.  When I did lose him I realized how much I loved him and how I will always be in love with him, and that I will never get him back.  Because I am in love with him, I need the world to be a better place for him, and I will do what ever it takes. Its a priority.   I think the two of you can do great things together, be great things together, don’t think you can’t lose him because when you start thinking that way, you will have lost him.  I don’t want to see that happen.  I’ve made the point that you will connect with someone like you’ve connected with SZ once or twice in your life, if you’re lucky, and that most people will never make connections like this.  My question to you is, do you want to lose it?, Because once it’s gone, you don’t get it back.

I’ve never been anything but honest with you, sometimes too honest but if I wasn’t that would be doing you a disservice. I put this page up 2 days ago, I’ve edited today after I had tense conversation with SZ.   If you don’t like something I’ve said, you have the credentials to login and change it.  You can login right now and correct whatever I’ve said here.  LINK

SZ just told me he talked to you about an audio file of my voice, I am not embarrassed to put that file here.  It’s from 2 voicemails he saved, I am in in such pain over what I’ve done, crying so hard that I am barely understandable.  Over and over I’m saying, Shawn way aren’t you picking up your phone, I love you I’m still wearing my ring.  From Feb 2015, 2 months after we split up.

I still wear that ring.


I got some texts forwarded to me in these wee hours of the morning, I forward those to Jay’s phone so we could extract them on a computer. It appears from these texts that some replies have happened, and New Borat has quite the sob story, and he’s apparently on his way. You have to ask yourself, are you willing to let your fears allow this to happen, because the reality of this situation is perilous to the both of us.

Notes: This situation is public because of those published emails.  SZ does like strays, it’s true. This is like a stray wet dream, but I consider it dangerous.  He’s not listening to me.  He listens to you.  He is getting his emotions trampled on by everyone he knows, he vulnerable to this.