aaron housos james brooklyn for filmscrewband

Aaron here. This is for Cameron.

I want to apologize to you for what ever it is that I have done that has made you stop talking to me.  I can’t think of anything that I have done, but if you bring it to my attention, I will make every attempt to correct it.  I’ve never said anything negative about you, I just don’t think about you like that.  I’ve tried to be supportive, I’ve considered you a friend and at times an advisor.  I don’t need any type of constant attention from you, but I get the feeling you want to not acknowledge me at all, if that’s the case, I can accept it, but I would like to know why.  I can’t grow as a person if I’m not able to learn from my mistakes, if I have made a mistake with you.  I can’t grow as a person if I don’t know what it is that I have done wrong.  If you just want me to make my ball and go home, if you really don’t want anything to do with me, I can’t do anything but accept that, but I would like to know why, so that I don’t repeat what ever I did to upset you with anyone else.  I can’t tell you how truly sorry I am if I have done anything to upset you.

I don’t know the details of what has gone on between you and SZ.  While he’s been here, he hasn’t been the same, I tried to talk to him.  Besides his schedule, and family responsibilities, his demeanor seems to come back to you.  There is very little that he would tell me, but I was surprised when he brought up that you would go for weeks without calling, that you wouldn’t communicate at all. Well, I was pretty shocked actually.  I’m not here to lecture you or anything like that, but SZ is someone you said you could see yourself living with, and you’ve said many times how much you love him.  If there is one thing about SZ that I know for certain, it is that he loves you, unconditionally, nothing matters to him except what is inside of you, what ever superficialities you might have, he would be oblivious to, it wouldn’t matter, to him, all that matters is the unbelievably special connection you two share, he really loves you, no matter what, and I do believe you love him.  What I also know is that SZ would never do anything to hurt you, he would fight to death for what ever it is that you ever needed, he accepts and embraces you so completely.  He explained to me, that you were in control of everything, so I don’t understand what has happened, he is deeply affected by this, and I think you have been too.  I don’t have to understand what has happened, it’s not my business, and I’m not going to pry into it.  What I will say is that SZ is worth it, he doesn’t see you the way the rest of the world would, to him, he doesn’t think in terms that you can do any wrong.   SZ told me that you were always in his heart, that your heart made his beat.  What ever it is that has happened between you two, you will only find SZ to be completely understanding and always have open arms for you under any circumstance, with love, it’s just who he is.  Like I’ve said, most people will never have a connection like this in their lives, please don’t give up on SZ.  He would always be there for you, unconditionally.

I support what you and SZ have, I support you.  I care about you, the band cares about you.  I can’t tell you how much it saddens me if I have done anything to upset you, or that you thought was wrong, I deeply apologize.  If I have done anything, my only request, ifI can have one, is to know what I have done and correct it, so that I don’t repeat whatever it is in the future.

I really do care about you Christopher


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ShawnZone in his phone position on the floor

SZ wrote this for you
Crying To Crisis preview Films Crew

About Aaron Housos James

A founding member of FilmsCrewBand, Aaron is a multi-instrumentalist and mental health advocate and political activist, with an excellent work ethic.
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