COINCIDENTAL ALLEGORY

Aaron James Housos of filmscrewband

 

Aaron here again. Update to update.  Thanks for some, not all of the responses we got.  Again, the band has not come to an end over a dispute that Levi and I started, we’ve had them before, all bands have them, this one had bad timing.  SZ has not left the band, things are still strained but we are talking via text, he has another situation going on which has deeply affected him, which we are concerned about and probably won’t let go of until things are back on the path they were supposed to be.  Thank you for you concerns about my tonsillectomy complications.  I needed to re-word somethings in the update below for clarity and accuracy, so please give it a re-read.  Yes, I did come out last week, what’s your excuse for not doing so?

It was mentioned to me recently that people do not like confrontation, it’s something that generally keeps people from misbehaving, although I can’t help wonder what happens when people won’t confront themselves or those who’s actions have affected them negatively, do they run from this forever?, do they have no conscience?  We sometimes have to take a step to confront the error of our ways, especially with who we have wronged. or what we stand for is nothing but hypocrisy.

Can we all stop using mental problems as excuses for our behavior?  Seek help. Peace – Aaron

Aaron here.  I’ve never been one for tolerating drama in my life, from myself or from others, despite some woman on Periscope saying I engage in high school dramatics when she is the one doing so.  Since I have been blocked as well after having done nothing, it’s obvious this woman wants me and particularly SZ out of someone’s life and she is going to do what she can by any means necessary to make this happen, but she is trying to control a situation without any regard for anyone but herself and her pederasty, meaning she is trying to control the person she is trying to isolate, how does he feel about that?  This woman who won’t read this, I wonder if she thinks she can cut people out of other’s lives without consequences, it’s really telling how manipulative she is, and her disregard for the pain that is caused by her actions.  And she has intentionally caused pain.

If I’ve wanted attention, I’ve always asked, so there wouldn’t be the passive-aggressive nonsense that just builds up a lot of resentment.  I have been on receiving end of other peoples drama, I try to understand it, but it always comes down to someone manipulating somebody else, so I take myself out of the situation.  This isn’t to say I haven’t made my own massive mistakes, I own those and live with them, others I’ve witnessed tend to run from their own mistakes and don’t learn anything from them, leaving damage in their wake, and dooming themselves to repeat the same mistakes over and over again with different people, always mystified why certain people want nothing to do with them, it becomes an endless cycle.  That’s why I chose the word ‘Allegory’.  Everything message I give all of you here is allegorical, all my messages have hidden meanings, since we started this band we have all hidden messages in everything we’ve done.  While some have thought I have done some dramatic things, it’s not true, I’ve done self-destructive and blatantly damaging things which cost me too much in the way of the people I’ve loved, mistakenly thinking I’d be able to pull everything back together, it never works like you think it will.  If I had put more of myself completely on the line with honesty putting things back together, things would have had the outcome I wanted, so I learned passive-aggressive behavior wasn’t the answer.  If I laid my soul bare, I would have never been out of this band for brief period of time.  Laying one’s soul bare is not a punishment, it’s a level of honesty we should try to achieve at all times.  As humans we aren’t natural liars, we put ourselves in positions where we become liars and that becomes a cycle most won’t break free of unless they lay their soul bare.  If you can’t lay your soul bare, ask yourself why, and the reason is something as shallow as insecurity, you have to seriously face your demons or you are at the risk of loosing who you consider love and leaving them damaged in your wake, ask yourself if that’s worth it.  The same is true for those who grow complacent in their relationships, is it worth the risk losing that comfort and security?, you won’t find again elsewhere.

What may have seemed like some drama from us last week has been misinterpreted, at least band wise. Levi and I were overly demanding of SZ, all of that has been settled for the most part, some feelings are a little sensitive still.  The other matter, I’m not sure, I know that SZ is hurt, and one of the people in particular who hurt him thinks I hate him?, which isn’t the case, I’m questioning what kind of person could get you to compromise your ethics, and you should question that too.  We all know that SZ wouldn’t allow you to compromise your ethics.  If there is one take away from being in a relationship with SZ, it was that I controlled the outcome of things.  Not that he was in any way submissive, he was never controlling, he never put boundaries on me, and I never abused that power until I got caught up in someone else’s head game feeding on an insecurity I had. I single handedly ruined that relationship forever by the way I handled the aftermath.  You, my friend should learn from my mistakes, face your demons, lay your soul bare, push yourself out of your restrictive comfort zone and undo the damage before it’s too late.  You and I have talked about how rare these connections are and how most people will never experience them.  I’m not the only one who had the power to stop that relationship from getting off the ground, all of us were weary, but you were convincing, you said you loved him.  In fact if you go back in my updates, in the subtext you’ll find that I knew about all of this months ago, I gave you the benefit of the doubt and I’m still willing to, don’t make a fool out of me.  You were the reason I made sure there was a great deal of distance from New Borat, aside from his own half truths of his dubious origin, he was someone who knew what he wanted and set out to get it by any means necessary, don’t make me regret that decision.  Allegories don’t really work here, they may stop someone from the Village Voice or bloggers, (and they are out there), and I really don’t like restricting my speech.  What I really have to say to you is, if you love him, let him know, don’t let there be any doubt, get outside of your comfort zone about it, intimately, or you lose him, and that will leave enough hurt in its wake to ever have the possibility of getting him back.  It’s you who has to put the effort in here, he is an innocent bystander who was hit by a wayward train. You know you have a login to this part of the site as well as your own.

Aaron

 

About Aaron Housos James

A founding member of FilmsCrewBand, Aaron is a multi-instrumentalist and mental health advocate and political activist, with an excellent work ethic.

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COINCIDENTAL EXPOSURE.