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riots
nate riots
Nate Riots Archive

Document updated for and by Anonymous for the mems


ALL WORKS WITH HERE IN © N RIOTS

falling in love with... 10/22
written by riots

im falling in love with an angle that has no wings
im falling in love with a hope that has a face
im falling in love with the ocean in your eyes
im falling in love with the music in your voice
a weakness in my legs is starting to take control
a strength in my heart is growing stronger for you
ive never felt more sure than how sure i am with you
the sun couldnt shine quite as bright as you do
the stars could plunge toward the earth and i wouldnt notice
im too busy falling in love with you
if the world was coming to an end
id spend the last of it in your arms
if the world were to catch fire, id blame it on you
cause your the hottest thing ive ever encountered
im falling in love with a dream thats come true
im falling in love with a star that lights up my life
im falling in love with the ocean in your eyes
im falling in love with the music in your voice



true 10/20
written by riots

im captured by surprise at these words i hear
i can see it true in your eyes, words i’ll hold so dear
the four letter, one syllable phrase, love
something that hasnt blessed my life for a while
the realness and compassion that i feel
your honesty takes me and makes me unreal
this connection we have is the strongest ive ever known
you make this house seem more like its a home
just because you exist in it
when i see that smile i feel like everythings right
usually a smile shows me the death of me
but this time, a trust that couldnt be more worthy
i’ll hold onto your heart as you hold mine
i could look up at the sky when your gone
and in your heart i’ll know we’re fine
insecurity doesnt live in my mind anymore
not now that your in my world, you are my world
“baby, we’re invincible”
a line that is so true, and baby its because of you
cause i mean these words when i say them
“til the day i die, i’ll spill my heart for you”
lines from other songs should be sited:
“baby we’re invincible” -a rocket to the moon
“til the day i die, i spill my heart for you” -story of the year



eyes like an ocean 10/18
written by riots

the ocean waves crash down upon these rocky cliffs
and i stand there waiting watching the sunset
a destiny that i fear could strangle me
this dream haunts me that i could lose you
then i see your eyes shine through the sun
they sparkle in the blue sky and it heals me
my fears are wiped away in a strong wind
clouds couldnt fog up this heart of mine today
im so comfortable here sitting with you
we watch the sun set in the horizon
its the most beautiful thing ive ever seen
the night engulfs the dim lit sky
one by one the stars pop up
i point up at one, “babe, im buying that for you”
the stars couldnt be more beautiful then they are tonight
i turn and i look into your deep blue eyes
i feel like im falling inside them
playing in them like a pool
this feeling is so free and flawless, ive never felt better
i think im falling for you.



the four letter word i can't say yet 10/13
written by riots

theres a sparkle in the sky
a twinkle in your eye
something so unexplanitory
something so surreal
a comfort ive never felt
at least not for a while
in the worst, you brought the best
in the hurt, you brought a heal
in the sickness, you brought a cure
you bring me to life
you keep me alive
i wanna grab your hand and never let go
i wanna kiss your lips and take control
i wanna fly away and never look back
i wanna run with you to an endless escape
my heart so broken, now secure
my mind so lost, now is found
lets take it slow, take it fast
lets be free, and see how long this last
lets have the time of our lives
with you, everyday is the best day of my life.



a hearts story 10/13

written by riots

a heart shattered, left empty on the floor
pale, it seems its done for
no light, no hope, its given up all
its torn apart far too many times
its bled itself dry every screaming night
a disaster it could no longer stand
then a flash of beauty comes from no where
a hope is lit on the candle
we can strike a match and blow it out
but still it remains ignited
a strong flame burns through his eyes
a passion so strong
the heart who once was so victimized
now so whole and free
a smile grows on a face that hasnt had the strength
a twinkle in eyes that have been cried out dry
a new life has begun, a new happiness has risen
could this be all hes ever needed
a connection continuously growing
a freedom that has never been felt
its not quite love but its dangerously close
the heart beats once again
maybe this story does have a happy end.



wish with me 10/8


written by riots. (one of my crappy poems)
sometimes i wish upon a star
the star you and i pointed out together
theres only one thing i could wish for
a wish that will never come true
i wish for you…i wish for you
i want what we used to have
back when we were care free
we didnt let anything hold us back
there was nothing but us
but now theres nothing of us
how i wish upon this star
the star that i would buy for you
if you let me
just to show how much i love you
how much id give..up
theres only one thing i want in return
and thats your heart baby
please hold on tight
please, we can withstand the fight
we can wish and we can dream
but in reality you want nothing to do with me
i cant blame you
a little bad here, a little bad there
that is what life throws out there
we can wish upon this star and always know
i will always know….
that i love you
so i will wish upon this star
that this is just a nightmare
that we are still as one as before
please love me again…baby
please…wish with me.
RIOTS




a letter to the one who i gave it all up for 10/6
written by riots

i write this letter to you to tell you how i feel
please disregard the tear droplets on the page
its far to hard to write this to you,
the love of my life, at least in my mind
i understand im not wanted back
i get that im the one who messed this up
i just sit and pray that you’ll one day see
that you need me, like how i need you
i try to be strong, those were the last words i heard you speak
i try to move on, cause it hurts knowing that you can so easily
but i cant stop this heart break
i cant stop this stomach ache
i feel sick, i feel raw, i feel gone
some say theres only that one true love
sometimes i think, i know that is you
these maybe the last words you hear me say
but before you give up on me
i ask you to hear me out, please
hear my plee, feel these tears from my eyes
you may think that im just saying these things
but believe me when i say, im lost without you
how cheesy and cliche that sounds…
but i dont think it could be more true
i will never get over the thought of you
this heart misses far too many beats
if it continues to skip around, it could be the end of me
yes, im really that weak
all i ask for is a reply
something that truly comes from your heart
the heart i fell in love with
forgive me, love and sincerely
the leader of the weak, me.



dear diary 10/6
written by riots

dear diary of mine with your silly little lies
please stop these tears from falling tonight
im tired of being the blame for all of your fame
i did nothing wrong, why am i the one who feels like shit
why am i the one who has to deal
the one who suffers day and night
please stop the yelling, please end this fight
im so scared and im too weak
tears are all i have left and theyre starting to run dry
the stars are falling, the walls are closing
im kept inside this mess that you created
im the blame, im the one who broke my heart
im the one who stole this and twisted these words
i murdered what once was, dear diary why?
these pages are ripped, this letter is torn
it lies here soaked in my tears, my fears
i write down these words in this small book
to let go of my pain, but its not helping
its killing, using these words against me
dear diary, why are you so brutal?
why do you hate me? want to kill me?
want to hurt me? search, find, destroy me?
dear diary, im sorry…..i am to blame
im going to need some energy to get through this page
to read all of this shame
im going to need some pills to get me through
take me out, pass out
black out.

Your Creation 10/4
written by riots

i come to think what i would have been
what i could have been or should have been
i realize how weak i am and its very recent
i used to be so sure and i knew what i wanted
now im insecure, a person i never wanted to become
i scare too easily now and it haunts me
i have the feeling that my world engulfed on itself
and came back something that i didnt know
this is all new to me, and it didint start til there was you
you, who made me feel love
you, who got me to realize who i was
you, who helped me through a life i couldnt take
a life that i could never once get a break
you, who taught me the art of truth
you, who showed me a world unknown
where you opened doors that i could never reach before
and now this is through and done with
and my insecurity continues oh so harshly
i could just throw my life away right now
if only it were that easy
if only i was that weak
sometimes i dream that i am, as my way out
how simple it would be to end it all now
but how pathetic that would make me look
as much as i say that i dont care what they think
the truth is they are the opinion that can make or break
im growing accustom to the word called pain
and it hurts but for some reason i like playing these games
a challenge, a twist of fate
maybe i can make this, maybe i can open my own gate
by im too insecure to think that way
look at what you created, look at what you made
a sad lost soul that now blends in
when once “i can play happy at anytime”
i stood tall, at least i did on the outside
the insides were tearing up, folding over, ripping to shreds
maybe thats why im controlled by insecurity
i held it in for so long and this was the final straw
now its all shown on my face, a face that i cant stand to see
look at what you made me.

The Puppeteer 10
written by riots

somethings got to give in
i got to get in your mind
and play your brain, play your thoughts
you can be my puppet baby.
you once made me play these silly games
put me through complicated tests
now its my time to hold the strings
to control your moves, to play the game
how would you like to fall
and be kicked over and over again?
how would you like to be torn up
and heart ripped from your skin?
you continue to break me apart
and you torture me with hate
a silence ive never felt
its so speechless and blank
a little to sudden for my taste
so the puppet takes its bow
and the red curtains close the scene
now i lose control, how could i be so mean?
time to let go of the strings
amd let you be finally free
im sorry for making you…
…making me believe
its time to call it quits, im not meant to win
the show is over, the game is through
and one day i might get over you.

Cycle 10/1
written by riots

im cycling around in a mind so insecure
im falling in love with a thought so unsure
i inhale, exhalle, inhale, die
sorry but this is too hectic of a life
its a constant lie that i continue to tell
im unsure, im sure, i dont know
i want, i need, i cant, i wont, i dont
this need itches for a home
a place it can rest and stay
maybe im so desperate for love
that i dont care who
i truely believe im madly in love with you
i hate you, i need you, i love you, cant stand you
its up and down, through and around
its an endless cycle of lies to myself
im starting to think i dont know what i want
i do, i dont, i do, i dont, i do
i want to marry you
a ring i give to show i care
but id like it back, your never there
this heart, it means nothing
its damaged, in love, hurt, fucked up, needy, bad luck
i realized that i got the worst of luck
when it comes to falling in love
the search continues for the “one true”
existence of such a being is questionable
but im gonna follow this endless cycle
til the day i die, spilling my fucking heart for you.

Abstract Photo 9/29
written by riots

lost in an abstract photo of memories
craving what once was, is now lost
the desires i once had are now figments..
figments of my delusional imagination
i see your eyes and how strong they are
how can you be so strong, when im feeling so weak?
droplets of tears roll down my cheeks
a fire inside my heart, losing its flare
my body goes numb, your beauty lives on
i stand alone in this abstract photo
this photo holds so many memories,
memories i’ll never get back,
memories i once knew would grow and last,
now are broken, scarred, and faded
i fear for my own life
for im running out of air,
these four walls close me within
and you just stand there,
speechless and with a blank stare
the door closes on my face
and thus completes this painting
now this photograph becomes proof
that i will always love you.

Desire 09/07
written by riots

oh dont be so in denial
you know that you want what you cant have
just like the rest of us, you have desires
desires that you must not desire at all
everyone has a dirty little secret
but dont hide yours from the world
you feel love? yes i think its true
you want this object that can not be
your beliefs hold you from this want
a sinful want it is indeed
but you must find what your heart truly needs
what YOU truly need
a love oh so strong this could be
take a chance, take it while you can
before it flies away forever and you lose your grasp
oh dont be so in denial
you desire the one thing you never thought you could have.

Tonight 09/05
written by riots

i sit here all alone where im meant to stay
no heart to grasp no air to gasp
an emptiness fills my lungs as i breathe my last breath
my hands tremble as they reach for your touch
an endless cycle and i miss you to much
do you care that im sitting here crying for you
do you care that im lying in this bed without you
i tear my hair out of my head cause im so damn stressed
and you act so passive like it doesnt even faze
i stay up late at night so i dont have to dream
but it doesnt help, i can only think of what we used to be
youve changed is what youve done
your not the same
you used to call wen i was hurt even if you couldnt
you used to care when i cried and made it so i wouldnt
now you dont care, and im sick of you not being here
i need you tonight….i need you tonight

Insecure Mind 09/04
written by riots

why is it i feel you don’t want me? you push away
holding back all my insecurities all my guilt
i give it all, gave up so much for this
my heart holds so many wounds that its incredible that it continues its beat
and this last chance could make or break
please dont break me, please dont leave me behind
i try to hold my head up high, i try to ignore my restless mind
its an understatement to say ive hurt before
ive hurt greatly,
i came to you, hoping the pain would stop
hoping i could trust that you wouldnt hurt me
its hard to trust someone you never see
when theres so much on the line, so much at stake
but i’ll try to hold my head up high and try to ignore my restless mind
forget my insecurities and leave the pain far behind
this is my last chance to love you
and id do anything to keep you loving me.

Words Are Words 02/04
written by riots

words are only words when not taken into action
lies are only used up words that are told to trick
i promise i wont break this beat
i promise i wont snap the cords
yes, these are my words
but i will put them into action
ive handed you my heart several years ago
you handed yours to me
i have yet to break it, i have yet to snap it
i promised i would not leave
and look at me standing before you
i told you id cry when i saw you next
and here i lay in your arms weeping with joy
i whispered i’ll never let you go
and notice how my hand embraces your own still
i said that i’ll leave my past behind for you
now tell me, have i ever gone back without you?
yes, words are only words when not taken into action
but baby, we are in the studio and this is live
welcome to reality sweetie.

Found by Levi D Wall
The Notes of Nate Cytanovic + Nevitt
From a text left on the server, where the dropbox used to go
Nate Cytanovic: But do you realize that before you found out that you couldn't go. when you thought you would be going in a month that you have pushed everyone away?! you wanna know why people talk about you is you give them a reason. you've changed. you treat people like dirt. act like we've never been there for you. i'm sorry but i believe i'm there every time you needed me. and you still treat me like dirt. you act like Shawns the only one who cares. your blind to "love" with someone  a guy thats cheated on you whether you see it like that or not. me and everyone else hate who you've become and i try and tell you and you go off. all you focus on is that people are talking shit but you never look at it that you are in the wrong and you don't try change what your doing. u complain and complain and act like your life is so miserable. you use me as a scapegoat to get away from your own family. at least your family loves you. i have a reason to hate mine and treat them like dirt. what's yours?! i hate who you've become so much that i can't wait for you to leave. i've given up caring cause i'm getting hurt for it. i lost my best friend months ago and i've given up trying get him back. i can't deal with this bs lie of a life your living. you try to hard to prove yourself that you lose yourself. i don't know who you are but nate nevitts gone. you wanna keep a lasting impression on us then find the REAL you again. i feel that shawns changed you. i don't like it. you already know i hate him and he's making me hate you. enjoy your life and in the first step in finding yourself again spend thanksgiving with you family without me and don't call Shawn for 48 hours and maybe you will find you. but your lost and i'm done trying to find you. peace.
Nate Cytanovic manipulated, used, lied to and about Shawn, and myself
Nate Cytanovic believes this is acceptable behavior, The thing is only Nate Cytanovic is responsible for Nate Cytanovic's questionably unstable behavior even if it was enabled by his attention seeking friends, who encouraged this manipulation and lying.  The thing is Nate Cytanovic always told Shawn that he loved him.  Let's examine this thing.
Full transcript between Nathan Nevitt and Nate Cytanovic
Nate referred to here is Cytanovic,
Me referred to here is Nathan Nevitt, (I don't trust the things he has to say either)
Nate: Take me home between classes
Me: fine
Nate: Do you even care that you leaving in a month?
Me: I'm not, i told you that two days ago.
Me: No reply?
Nate: But do you realize that before you found out that you couldn't go. when you thought you would be going in a month that you have pushed everyone away?! you wanna know why people talk about you is you give them a reason. you've changed. you treat people like dirt. act like we've never been there for you. i'm sorry but i believe i'm there every time you needed me. and you still treat me like dirt. you act like Shawns the only one who cares. your blind to "love" with someone a guy thats cheated on you whether you see it like that or not. me and everyone else hate who you've become and i try and tell you and you go off. all you focus on is that people are talking shit but you never look at it that you are in the wrong and you don't try change what your doing. u complain and complain and act like your life is so miserable. you use me as a scapegoat to get away from your own family. at least your family loves you. i have a reason to hate mine and treat them like dirt. what's yours?! i hate who you've become so much that i can't wait for you to leave. i've given up caring cause i'm getting hurt for it. i lost my best friend months ago and i've given up trying get him back. i can't deal with this bs lie of a life your living. you try to hard to prove yourself that you lose yourself. i don't know who you are but nate nevitts gone. you wanna keep a lasting impression on us then find the REAL you again. i feel that shawns changed you. i don't like it. you already know i hate him and he's making me hate you. enjoy your life and in the first step in finding yourself again spend thanksgiving with you family without me and don't call Shawn for 48 hours and maybe you will find you. but your lost and i'm done trying to find you. peace.
Nate: Good enough reply for you?
Nate: what no reply? (stupid sounding huh?)
Nate: Also! i'm sick of the one that has to apologize. if you want us to be friends you can apologize for once with proof that your becoming who you used to be.
Me: Who i use to be Nate was a mask. I have finally taken it off and i'm sorry you don't like who i am underneath it. And do you realize that the entire time we've been friends i've been there for you, only to be constantly insulted and i'm sick of it. i dealt with it before because you were going through a lot and i figured that you needed someone to be there no matter what but now you have a pretty amazing life apart from your mom so i'm done taking shit from you.
Nate: Nate you don't know who you are. i can see it in your eyes. you more lost than ever. if anything your wearing layers of masked. yeah you took one off but to reveal another and i don't meaningly talk down to you. and don't act like you don't do it to. i help you through everything and not once have i gotten a thanks. you didn't even stand up for me when your "boyfriend" said that i was a bad friend and what i did was unforgivable. you probably agreed. i'm sick of trying to protect you and be there for an ungrateful bastard. you treat your family like shit why? at least they care about you. i'd give anything for you life. you act like your going through so much and act so miserable. yeah you don't have a perfect life but at least you got one. mine is miserable i just make the best of it. i fight my way to the top. thats maybe why i talk down cause i've learned to have to defend myself and it comes naturally now. but at least i know who i am and i don't use friends as scapegoats. i'm being yours. all i do is stick up for you and defend you and you act like i'm talking shit too. i talk out my ass trying to make you sound good and i don't get shit from you. tell me one time you defended me when i was getting shit talk. not once.
Me: You never get shit talked in front of me. And i did stand up for you when Shawn was saying that stuff about you! i got mad at him for it! i have always tried to be there for you and if i heard anything bad about you from anyone i stood up for you. do you know how often i've had to defend you from my family? you say i should love my family? well i do but i hate that i can't be myself there and i hate that they talk about you! Thats why i don't like to be home because i hate how they've talked about you! And i have never used anyone as a scapegoat, i don't blame my mistake or faults on others!

Nate's poem
subject line: poem (do what you want with it) (its for you)
DAMN REGRET
do you kno how hard this is?
do you care who you hurt in the end?
do you realize what you have lost?
do you think about how this will cost?
regreting words that come from the lips
it should be a sin
losing trust in the most trustworthy
how sad that its come to this
im hurt here with a wounded heart
all of these pains leaving behind scars
look in the sky for dreams of yesterday
i will wish once more upon these stars
the stars we called ours
the dreams planned out are gone
dear my future goodbye
sincerly the devil in disguise
you leave the one behind who was there
the one who held your hand when no one else would
im the one who cared
im the one who suffered with you, for you
im the one who tried his best to help you see
that this world is cruel but you will always have me
now the sky falls on top of this
and it ends with no regrets
at least no regrets spoken of
sorry wouldnt even begin to help
a word so meaningless it seems
all it does is muffle the screams
it blurs the edges of our sanity
this is what it comes to
a death grip on tomorro
an altered silence sews our mouths shut
we can continue down this path
with our endless assortment of masks
we whisper lie after the other
we finish eachother off
until at last all we have is regret in the plam of our hands
squashed into the darkness of our souls
lost and forgotten
enjoy your new life my friend
because as long as you walk this path
i will not be a part of it
and that will be the last regret
do you think this is easy?
do you think i cant be hurt?
do you think about what you have lost?
do you think i deserve this?
you dont deserve this.....

my reply
do you really think that i don't care about you? do you really think that i don't regret what has happened? do you think i'm not silently dying inside?
if you really think that then you haven't known me at all. and i know you don't like Shawn but everyone i've asked about it agrees with me that its not cheating. and i've also asked quite a few people if i have changed and most said that i have changed only for the better Holderness said i seem happier, Aerin said i'm more confident, and Ashley and Chelsea said that i've come out of my shell. and the others pointed out two things and thats it, they said they weren't big changes just slightly irritating ones. i'm not seeing how i've changed so drastically. i really want to understand this Nate i don't want this to be over, i don't want us to be over. i love you and i always will. you say i've been pushing away well so have you. you don't see it because you don't want me to leave but you have been pushing and its killing me. Nate we have both been pushing and neither of us can tell because we don't want it to happen.

Nik: Levi, is this the Nate Riots that turned his boyfriend into the police to trap and humiliate him?
Levi: Yes, the thing is his trap was more elaborate, Cytanovic got all he wanted, does Moot know?
Nik: He knows everything, it's been posted in memes, what is comatose is deafening its volume.
Moot: See that there is more.

 

 

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anon

Updating voices for the voiceless
Document updated by Anonymous
We are Anonymous We are Legion
We do not forgive We do not forget Expect Us


Nathan Nevitt pursued and proposed exchanging marriage vows with Shawn Walker

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