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aaron housos





This is a notes page for me I will be posting on and editing accordingly to my current notes status.
I am keeping it up for people to follow and also as a way for me to keep myself on track.
I might also include a bit of news in here but not much, it will only be posted if it
is in my current notes. Expect nothing, but expect everything... ok?

Current notes:

(Written for SZ and are A+'s original draft)

Heaven Bound

Angel in your slow breeze
Kept away while the earth cries
Looking down upon my plea
Not ready to go but it's time to leave
Elevation set in decline, he bleeds…
He just bleeds…

Will it be too late for me my angel?
Can you catch me before this final plummet?
If I cry out would you hear the sound?
I need you so promise me I'm heaven bound.

Something inside me feels far from faith
It's so much more than I can take
My efforts in this love shall go unnamed
I live in pieces in this hellish game
I hold the honors to bear solitary blame
If not my angel then who will save me from his grace

Will it be too late for me my angel?
Can you catch me before this final plummet?
If I cry out would you hear the sound?
I need you so promise me I'm heaven bound.

Wings fading off into the setting sun
Towards that devils ghostly calling
I can't allow this to be goodbye
Stripped from flight, must I succumb to falling…
We're falling…

Will it be too late for me my angel?
Can you catch me before this final plummet?
If I cry out would you hear the sound?
I love you so promise me I'm heaven bound.
Catch me, catch me
My love, please catch me
Catch me, catch me
My love, catch me while I need you now


The world appears when you scratch off the surface.
Denial is a safe place to the untrained eye.
You know who you are and this is for you...  Don't run from the
ones who actually care...  It's safe, you can breath, I promise there
will be oxygen...  If you don't try to breath how do you have a
chance to live?
I am here to keep my promise to Shawn


To have no mirrored ghosts, to break free... Would require what... Because I can't scream. Because I can't scream. To have no mirrored ghosts, to break free... Would require what, would require me...


"Cold Enough 4 You", raw concept:
This is what you asked, without all my due respect? If I am not mistaken, your the one pushing people into corners. The mirror is your transparent deceptions. Have you lost your home ground, or has it morphed? Your drawing too many people into this childish game of denial. Blame me, because you know that you cannot stand to bear the blame. What hurts is you know I will always love you. You say you love me, but let's let your actions do the talking. How much am I asking of you, but for you to be "just" you? Who are you really running from? We all know. Run any direction, they all lead back to you...

Why did I have to be so ignurant to what I knew was
right???  Why can't I see past my own cold parts???
When will I be better???  What can I do to make you
come back???
Please respond Shawn, please!(you have touched me
deeper than I knew possible)
Love Aaron

 I pushed you away because of my own fears.. I think
you understand.  I know now I was only running from my
past... Well, that is not true, I knew then... I just
don't know why I continued it.  Did I believe I would
be able to lie to myself just like everyone else does?

I still do not want to talk, I am not ready to see you again as of now. 

 Well, lying to myself has gotten me nowhere...  I
just want to know why I am the way I am! Did I choose
this or was it a burden placed on me by some events or
personalities in my life?  Well, I must have chosen to
be this monster.. I am in control of myself fully, I
think?  Why can I see the truth about myself and not
be changed?

Numbing Narcoleptic

I live in fear of you
I am forced to live in shadows
Where the light of his denial can't reach in
Am I experiencing his honesty
Or an aspiration to be
Or am I kept in a box
Out of which I'm not allowed to
peek...

I live in fear of you
The only love i've known
Where I wait to be left
As the insanity will consume him
Wrestling with the ego-mania
Where no responsibility is claimed and he calls it home
Who was there to catch me when I'd fall
Competition never taught right from wrong...

When do sleepers awake
Will they face the anguish their mistakes have made
Numbing narcoleptic injuries
Will you inflict more pain so that I can feel again
When there is nothing more to take
Will you pass me off as another histrionic phase
If I stand up for myself
What becomes of the promises you've made
Would you be able to look me in the eye
And for once forgive me for being right???

I live in fear of you, my only love...
I live in fear of you, my only love...
How you need it to be...
Another promise empties...

Numbing narcoleptic injuries
Will you inflict more pain so that I can feel again???

© 11.25

Cold Enough 4 You

(worried about you) (i'm scared)
All it takes... I am... (all it takes...) (for me...)
Looking to you... Please... (me...)
One kiss sends me running... Just...
Looking to you... For me...
I'm running... I am...
It's (each) time, you'll bear the blame... (it has to be)
Look into my mirrors... Just... (see it my way)
Pick and choose my stains.

I make pain. I make pain...

All it takes to break... I am...
Looking to you... Please... (me)
One love sends me running... (just)
Look to you for me... (escaping)
I am running... I am...
It's time I took the blame... Please... (easily)
Look into my mirrors... I'll reflect the choices made...
(the choice you've made)

I make pain. I make pain.

I'm asking nothing of you. I'm asking of you everything.
I'm asking nothing of you. I'm asking for your faith...
Just believe for me. Please... Believe in me...


For Your Denial

You are the one that will make her cry...
You are the one that told her lies...
You are the one whose brain moves in cycles...
Now the adult and not the child...
Now it only Moves you Further...
And backwards to this blackness at the same time...

All Out Collapse, the world went black
For Your Denial...
Accost by Abuse, the world went dead
For Your Denial...
It's not true, the world according to you
For Your Denial...

You are the one correcting his pace...
You are the one just saving face...
You are the one whose brain moves in cycles...
Now The Adult Not A Child...
Now it only moves you Further...
And backwards to this blackness at the same time...

All Out Collapse, the world went black
For Your Denial...
Accost by Abuse, the world went dead
For Your Denial...
It's not true, the world according to you
For Your Denial...

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xousos
aaron housos shawn zone


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